There’s a belief that’s firmly entrenched, at least in my area of the country, that when animals get old and sick they know they’re toast; they instinctively realize that their time on this earth is done. At that point, some inner clock tells them that it’s time to crawl away, find a secluded spot, and then curl up to die.
People tell their children this. “Well, Fluffy was old, she must have gone off somewhere to die.” They tell their friends and family as well, who then spread the word around. “You know Barbara’s old cat Leonard? He was getting pretty old and he was losing weight. She hasn’t seen him for a while. She figures he must have crawled off to die.” Or the one I hear in the exam room that makes me wince every time: “Well, Doc, we brought Old Joe in to see you today because he’s been a little off. No, we really don’t want to do anything for him, we just wanted to see if you thought it was time to put him down. We keep thinking he’ll just go off to die, but he’s still hanging around so we thought we’d ask you.”
As a child, I bought it. Every single adult I knew assured me that old dogs knew when they were supposed to die, then at the appointed they time wandered off to do so in a fashion known only to old dogs who have come to the realization that it was time to meet their maker. No one I knew ever questioned this wisdom, so I never questioned it either.
Of course, I wouldn’t be writing about it now if I didn’t think that perhaps it might be time to question this widely held belief.
In a way, it’s comforting to us to think that our old pet wandered away, found a warm, quiet place in the woods, then curled up and passed away peacefully. It certainly jibes with every movie we’ve seen and fairy tale we’ve read. It helps children stop crying when they come to believe that death is peaceful for their old pets. Rover is still gone, but at least it was a gentle death. I’m sure it helps the adults too.
I am going to rain on that parade. Plainly and simply: animals that are old, sick and debilitated are already suffering and in need of care to mitigate their discomfort, in whatever form that has come. While the notion that they drift away to die peacefully is quite romantic, I submit that instead they wander off and are unable to return. Perhaps they stumble over a hillside or into a creek and are physically unable to get out. Perhaps they become disoriented (as senior citizens are often known to do) and cannot find their way home, instead traveling aimlessly looking for a safe haven. Maybe, heaven forbid, they’ve been assaulted by another animal they were too slow to escape and either killed or too badly injured to return. Perhaps they’ve been hit by a motor vehicle.
Older pets can suffer from hearing loss, impaired vision, cognitive dysfunction (the animal version of Alzheimer’s disease), crippling arthritis and muscle weakness, or a myriad of serious, systemic diseases that can make it impossible for them to return home once they’ve gotten too far away. Even those who are not irreparably impaired cannot escape attack, speeding vehicles, or geographical disorientation. If the weather is bad they are even more likely to get in trouble — imagine what it would be like for you if you were lost, wet, cold, and afraid.
Old pets can need as much supervision as puppies and kittens in order to keep them out of trouble. Keep them inside a fence, on a leash, or only let them outside under supervision. If you see an unknown pet wandering your neighborhood, please stop and help! It could be someone’s old friend who has “wandered off to die” and needs you to notice and care.
If a pet’s health is declining, it’s better to make the difficult decision to euthanize rather than wait to let nature take its course, which is rarely peaceful and comforting; more often it is violent and carries great suffering. Dogs and cats rarely “die peacefully in their sleep,” and they do not wander off in order to spare our feelings. That's a fairy tale invented to make us feel better at their expense. At times they are suffering and they need help in dying, and you are the one who must recognize when that is the case. They do not deserve to meet a frightened, bewildering end out there lost and alone.
89 Comments
Theresa
April 4, 2024
I laughed, I cried, it brought back every memory and every emotion. Tactically, I felt their fur and saw their trusting eyes looking up at me. Because they didn’t know, peace floated over them. And THAT’S the memory I carry with me. Thank you Doc for reiterating the reason behind that Unforgettable choice. Extremely well-written and real enough to again bring me to tears.
Judy
February 14, 2024
We had a Gooden Retriever from puppy. At over 11 yrs, he suddenly one morning was not around, I wondered around tge property calling for him, nothing. I finally found him in our hay yard, just laying there. I coaxed him to come , come Rolli, let’s go…….. it took a lot of coaxing, but I brought him to the house. Laying by our back entrance door, he passed. I believe, he wanted to leave us and die on his own. He didn’t suffer, he just left us. We cremated him on our property. I have had friends seeing him running around the yard and laying on our back step. Their spirit lives on. He loved our farm. Raised and passed on there. Love you Rolli Polli.❤️🥰
Janine
October 21, 2023
Oh dear. Nearly all the comments illustrate denial. The biggest act of kindness you can give your pet is to put them peacefully to sleep. Why let them suffer.
Jim
September 25, 2023
I live in Hawaii and have been in the country for 16years leaving the towns i lived in for another 40 years and have had 3 cat's leave the house and fine a place to RIP, plus 2 dogs, so don't tell me they don't, you are wrong.
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